Another year. Another semester.
More what if’s. And more homework to do.
I’m secretly jealous of the people who have everything figured out after high school, because here I am 5 years later, STILL not knowing what I want to do in my life. Yeah, I want to work with kids. But is that just a last resort for me?
I kinda wish the cosmic universe can send me a sign of what I can do with my life, but I wish it didn’t as well. How about giving me strength to get through it all? To get out of comfort zone? To make me less anxious about looking for jobs? To make me stronger and braver because I chicken out whenever I think about jobs.
Life just terrifies me sometimes. I hate how scared I am to look for jobs. It’s not the rejection, it just makes me feel uneasy. Unbalanced. Useless.
I can’t walk a street without panicking that I will get hit by the car 20 feet away. Huy.. oh well, no more complaining! It doesn’t take me anywhere and doesn’t give me shit to go on!
Suck it up Belinda! Suck it up!
Another year… Another semester…
And to be honest, another lie that I’ll suck it up. Ha ha. Maybe one day. Just not today.