Belinda's Time.



My name is belinda. I am 21 years old, and go to college. I love my boyfriend Jimmy so much, but he is in competition with my love with books.

& This is My escape, My indulgence. So please respect my space, as I would if I was in your space. Thank you.

"Families are like fudge – mostly sweet with a few nuts."

Another year.

Another year.  Another semester.

More what if’s. And more homework to do.

I’m secretly jealous of the people who have everything figured out after high school, because here I am 5 years later, STILL not knowing what I want to do in my life.  Yeah, I want to work with kids.  But is that just a last resort for me?

I kinda wish the cosmic universe can send me a sign of what I can do with my life, but I wish it didn’t as well.  How about giving me strength to get through it all? To get out of comfort zone? To make me less anxious about looking for jobs? To make me stronger and braver because I chicken out whenever I think about jobs.

Life just terrifies me sometimes. I hate how scared I am to look for jobs. It’s not the rejection, it just makes me feel uneasy. Unbalanced. Useless.

I can’t walk a street without panicking that I will get hit by the car 20 feet away. Huy.. oh well, no more complaining! It doesn’t take me anywhere and doesn’t give me shit to go on! 

Suck it up Belinda! Suck it up! 

Another year… Another semester…

And to be honest, another lie that I’ll suck it up. Ha ha. Maybe one day. Just not today.

It looks like the only time I ever write on here is because I’m feeling sad. Today is a different kind of sad. Yesterday, I was sad and heartbroken about a family member passing away..

Although I am still feeling sad about that.. I feel sad about what I am doing with my life.

If things just aren’t working out why do we keep holding on to it? I don’t understand. Yes I know it’s not good. But when it’s good, it’s the best feeling ever. People say to hold on to life and love because it gets better, I even say that myself, but sometimes.. Just loving someone or something isn’t enough.

I wish I can have a sign about where my life should turn right now. Yes I know. I should make my own path, my own decisions, because I want to right? But sometimes.. I’m just tired of making a choice that makes me feel the way I do. So if someone knows which way I am suppose to go, please let me know where I would be happy most.

The road to the left? The road to the right? Or the off dirt road to no mans land? I just want to be happy.

foresity:

Lightning Over Boston Lightning strikes over Boston, as viewed from the 50th floor of the Prudential Tower

Lightning Over Boston || dt.photosMassachusetts, US

foresity:

Lightning Over Boston Lightning strikes over Boston, as viewed from the 50th floor of the Prudential Tower
Lightning Over Boston || dt.photos

Massachusetts, US

(Source: Foresity, via tect0nic)